Monday, February 6, 2012

another rant. sorry. but with a happy ending!

I am a full-time student.  I am a full-time mama.  I work on the days I don't go to school.  And I love my life.

But you know what I don't love?

Being made to feel guilty that I've got my priorities straight.

Having friends that consistently try to demand time from me is ridiculous.  After my daughter is asleep, it's time to do homework.  Weekends are for working.  What little time I do get to myself, I prefer not to schedule things so that I can do something spontaneous and whimsical.  Or do nothing at all.  Or (and here's a really crazy thought) get caught up on housework.

I am so unbelievably regretful that you have a problem with my goals, my plans, and my schedule.  I'm not sorry it's mine...I like how I'm living.  Mostly I'm regretful that I currently have people in my life that are so short-sighted.

The flip side of that coin: I have the most supportive and wonderful immediate family.  I have extended family all over the country that's cheering me on every step of my journey.  I have friends who are keeping me laughing and keeping me sane every day.  I have wonderful professors who are not only giving me their knowledge, but are helping me to be a better student.  And my saving grace, my greatest blessing, my daughter.  No matter how tired or defeated I am feeling, I have a 3 foot strawberry blonde dynamo to remind me why I'm doing this.  Her humor is a delight and her curiosity towards the world is a wonder.  I'm so blessed to watch her grow.

Someday, I hope she's as proud of me as I am of her.

Thursday, January 19, 2012


Winter in Washington state is generally cold, wet, and gray.  Not to be confused with spring, which is windy, wet, and gray.  In case you've been living under rock, we are at the tail end of a pretty nasty storm.  Lots of snow, ice, power outages, traffic accidents, etc.

School's been closed early or cancelled every day this week.  Good by me, Alaina is sick with her umpteenth snotty nose, so I'd have to find alternate childcare anyway.  But let me tell you, we are on each other's nerves something fierce.

Short of two walking trips to the grocery store, we've been inside since Monday.  We've watched movies, colored, played with yarn, cooked, and enjoyed general silliness.  But you're talking about a couple girls who love to be out and about...we have our homebody moments, but those are made sweeter when they come at the end of a day full of adventure.

According to weather reports, relief from this nastiness is coming.  I can only hope it's soon.  At the moment, my daughter is asleep on the floor, pizza dough is rising, I've got several half-complete crochet projects I'm toying with, and the snow has stopped falling.  It would be idyllic, if I weren't so freakin' stir crazy.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

being a grownup

I apologize, but I'm going to deviate from our regularly scheduled program.  This is a rant.

In the last few months, I have been confronted with the most ridiculously childish behavior.  I get it from work, from friends, and from strangers.

I don't generally make resolutions (I am of the firm belief that if you need to change something in your life, there is no time like the present), but perhaps I'll make an exception this year.  Perhaps I will resolve to call people on their bullshit.

In relationships: if you are not happy, do what you need to be.  Maybe that means ending the relationship.  Maybe that means compromise.  But most of all, QUIT COMPLAINING TO OTHER PEOPLE.  I am not your partner.  Complaining to me (or on Facebook) doesn't fix anything, it just makes me resent you.  Moreover, if the relationship has ended, MOVE ON.  Yes, you can hurt all you want privately.  But put on a happy face.  Moping in public is for children.  And if it ends, don't trash talk your ex.  Makes it very awkward when you have friends in common.  Even more awkward when you get back together a week later.

In a bar: if you are of legal age to drink, then you are of legal age to stop being an asshole in public.  Do not throw a tantrum because I charged you for all your drinks, won't serve you after last call, cut you off due to your visible intoxication, or send you away because you didn't bring your ID.   JUST STOP IT.  It is the law that you must be able to provide proof of age upon request in an establishment that serves alcohol.  It is the law that I can't serve drunk people.  It is the law that purveyors stop selling alcohol after two a.m. More importantly, I've been dealing with you for 8 hours....I'm ready to clean up and go home.  I'm not doing these things to be mean.  I'm not trying to wreck your night.  But remember: I can refuse service to any person, at any time, for any reason.  Just think about that the next time you start being an asshat to your bartender.  And for the last time, please do not vomit in a bar, then wonder why I won't serve you.  YOU SMELL LIKE PUKE.  CLEARLY YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.  And may God have mercy on your soul if I find out you made a mess.  Seriously.

In general: No one owes anybody anything.  Entitled isn't a good look on anyone.  There is a right way and a wrong way to make your point; the right way involves manners and diplomacy, the wrong way is defensive with a side of name-calling and snide remarks.  If you use coupons at the grocery store, have them ready!  There is someone behind you waiting.  Be polite to your server/barista/dog groomer/cashier/mailman/bank teller/government agent - I'm sick of them being rude to me because that's all they've seen all day.  But rest assured, I'm still being kind.  And on that note, rude people in the service industry: no one is forcing you to keep your job.  If you hate it so much that you are incapable of performing it correctly, and with courtesy, please quit.  It is not my fault that your last customer stiffed you on the tip...but I'm getting some inkling as to why they might have felt it appropriate.

My apologies if you were expecting a light-hearted account of a midget anecdote, or a recipe.  Just needed to get a few things out in the open.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

things from Christmas not to forget

  • "All done." (Alaina deciding she had already opened too many gifts)
  • My midget growling with joy.  Literally, growling.
  • Trying to help everyone open their gifts.
  • Thinking all the presents were her.s (close, but not quite!)
  • Insisting Eva wear the ladybug headband and wings meant for Alaina.
  • Needing her Coraline doll with her at all times
  • Toasting everyone from a cordial glass (i.e. teeny tiny wine glass)
  • "Little bit more, please" x50, asking for more sparkling cider in her fancy "wine" glass.
  • Forgoing homemade crazy-delicious lasagna because she ate too many vegetables.
  • Using her chopsticks to eat pumpkin bread.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

photo op

Just when I think I couldn't possibly love her more, she falls asleep in my silver platform wedges.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


I've always been a fan of Christmas.  I love hot apple cider, sweaters, decorations, Christmas trees, carols, and traditions.  As I've gotten older, I learned that I love to find perfect gifts for my family.  But this year, THIS YEAR, is even more special.

I get to start teaching my daughter about Christmas.

Yes, this is her third Christmas.  But this is the first Christmas that she understands that something is happening. She recognizes Santa and knows that he brings presents.  She's mesmerized by Christmas lights.  Anytime we leave the house, she says bye-bye to our Christmas tree (and with her toddler speech, it comes out as "BYE, CRIMUSS TWEE!"  It is one of the most adorable things I've ever heard).

She might be a little too young to put out cookies for Santa, or carrots for reindeer.  No Elf on the Shelf here in 2011.  And we're going to skip church this year (you're welcome, fellow parishioners).  But she's starting to understand the magic of the season.

Which has renewed the magic for me immeasurably.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

kids say the darndest things

Here's a short list of adorable things my daughter has said recently:

  • "Stop that, mama!" "Stop what, baby?" "Being drunk!"
  • (watching "The Wizard of Oz" at the point that it switches to color) "Mama!  Not Kansas!"
  • "Mama, time out!" (she was suggesting I needed a time out.  What I really needed was for her to stop climbing on me.)

She's the sweetest candy cane on the tree!