motherhood: a glimpse into mental illness

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  

She never existed before.  

The woman existed, but the mother, never.  

A mother is something absolutely new."  

~Rajneesh

I didn't anticipate running the gamut of emotions daily when I found out I was going to have a baby.  I expected the sleeplessness, the constant mess, the influx of animated movies into my home, and playing second fiddle for the rest of my life.  But I didn't expect to be constantly overwhelmed.

Being a mother is the most wonderful title I have ever, and will ever, hold.  It is also the most maddening, frustrating, and thankless job I've ever had.  I understand now why some animals eat their young.  I also understand why my own mother "hated" me from ages 12-18....and to be honest, it probably would've lasted longer had I not moved out.  (Of course, she didn't hate me, but my smart mouth and disregard for rules probably is the reason for her high blood pressure today)

I have never felt so accomplished and so worthless.  I have never been more tolerant, and never more unforgiving.  Little things can send me into an hours-long anxiety attack.   Big things can send me into an hours-long anxiety attack.

It's this kind of crazy that I'm so blessed to have in my life.  Thank you, Alaina, for making your mama nuts.

roasted pineapple with spiced whipped cream.

Winter is pineapple season!  I love them, but find raw pineapple to be too acidic to eat comfortably.  Canned pineapple is terrible, too.  But I couldn't resist the siren's call of its spiky green top.  So I bought one, and figured I'd decide what to do with it later.

Enter roasted pineapple with spiced whipped cream.  It's not too sweet, easy to make, and a nice change from winter cobblers and crisps.

This recipe is made infinitely easier if you own a pineapple corer/ringer.

roasted pineapple
1 c. sugar
1 c. white wine (I used apple juice, didn't have wine on hand)
2 tsp. vanilla bean paste  OR
1 vanilla bean pod, scraped and pod & seeds mixed in.
(I'm sure vanilla extract would do just fine)
1 pineapple, peeled, cored, and cut into rings.

Mix sugar, wine, and vanilla in a large bowl.  Add pineapple rings.  Let sit for approximately 20 minutes.
Pour mixture into a glass baking dish, doing your best to make it one layer.  Cover with foil.  Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes, until syrup is slightly thickened, and pineapple has begun to caramelize on the bottom.

spiced whipped cream
2 c. heavy whipping cream
1/4 c. sugar
1/8 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. cardamom
1/8 tsp. ginger

For best results, pour whipping cream into metal bowl and chill while pineapple is marinating and cooking.  Whip to soft peaks.  Add sugar and spices.  Whip to firm peaks.

Be sure to plate this with a little of the syrup!  It's a delicious end to a winter meal.

sno-isle co-op.

I am smitten.  I discovered my local co-op a few weeks ago, and I'm literally creating excuses to go.  I love that all the produce is organic AND local.  I love the old building.  I love the classes that are offered, even though I have yet to attend one.  I love that the staff is almost as excited as I am about what I am taking home.

I picked up celeriac (celery root), purple potatoes, salad mix, Fuyu persimmons, Chioggia beets, a sugar pie pumpkin, and some other assorted grocery items.  The co-op is also a great spot to find ethnic foods that the local grocery store might not have.  While I love PCC, Whole Foods, Central Market, etc, I still feel like I'm in a store.  At Sno-Isle Co-Op, I sort of feel like I'm poking through a friend's kitchen.

Their bulk section is awesome, they have the whole gamut of personal and home care products, and all sorts of neat handmade goodies, too.  You can check them out here:  http://www.snoislefoods.coop/

menu!

I plan out my meals about a week in advance.  I like knowing what to expect.  I dislike getting halfway through a meal preparation and realizing I'm short an ingredient.  I like being able to balance our diets over several days, rather than focusing on each meal.  I dislike spending too much money, especially for food items that spoil.

For me, planning a menu for the week is a wonderful thing.  I get to research new recipes, organize my cupboards, and plan on nourishing my daughter and myself.

This week, I'm planning on: vegetarian supper plate (sort of like a Spanish style ratatouille), broccoli and brown rice casserole, split pea soup with homemade bread, and ground bison stroganoff.

What are you making?

how to cook bacon naked.

Traditional methods of cooking bacon involve splattering grease.  If you're a fan of cooking naked, bacon should be off the table.  Until now.

**For the record, I'm not a fan of naked cooking.  Or being naked in general.  I'm not judging if you are, it's just not my thing.

You will need a cookie sheet.  An oven.  Bacon.  Parchment paper, if you're fancy.

Lay out bacon onto cookie sheet (line with parchment first, fancy folks!).  Place bacon in COLD oven.  Set temperature to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (that's 447.444 Kelvin) and set timer for 17 minutes.  Walk away.
Check bacon when timer dings.  Continue cooking if you like, or remove from oven (Carefully!  You're naked and now you've got a platter full of grease!).  Transfer bacon to paper towel-lined plate.  Do what you want with the grease, just don't put it down the drain.

You can enjoy while it's hot, or be like me: put it in a container to enjoy all week.  Pro.

lentil bread

Fresh out of the oven!

Going through my pantry last night, I came across 3 bags of lentils.  THREE WHOLE POUNDS OF LENTILS.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good lentil soup or summer salad, but a little variety never hurts.  And I was out of homemade bread, so I began wondering: what would happen if I put lentils in bread?

The answer: MAGIC.  Magic happens when you put lentils in bread.

Lentils are a great source of protein, fiber, iron, folate, vitamin B, amino acids, and minerals.  Not to mention they're cheap and delicious.

Fairly straightforward recipe.  Makes delicious toast and sandwich bread.

lentil bread
1/2 c. lentils (I used brown, but I think any would be good)
2 cups warm water, divided
2 1/4 tsp. yeast (or one packet)
2 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 c. whole wheat flour
3.5-4 c. bread flour (I'm sure all purpose would be fine)

Soak lentils in one cup of water overnight.

Add additional cup of water (be sure it's WARM!), sugar, and yeast to lentils.  Let sit 15 minutes.

Mix egg and salt in large mixing bowl.  Add lentil mixture.  Stir gently.  Add flours, incorporate to form dough.  Turn onto floured surface and knead 5-10 minutes.  Place in oiled bowl and let rise, about 60 minutes.

Divide into two loaves and shape.  You can do round loaves on a cookie sheets, but I prefer just using my loaf pans....easier for toast.  Grease the pans just a bit.  Let rise until doubled in size (about an hour).  Bake at 375 for 50 minutes.  Let cool in pans covered with a towel.  Keeping the loaves covered will prevent the lentils from hardening.

Good, and good for you!  Happy baking!

domesticity

Last night, I started a new crochet project, put black beans down to soak, prepped lentils for bread, planned today's breakfast, and read a silly grocery store checkout magazine (not the gossipy kind, the housewifey kind).

Today's list includes cook beans, make bread, read other silly magazine, plan menus through next Thursday, work on crochet project more, grocery shopping, and trip to the craft store.

And I will do this all with a clever, capable, and beautiful two year old dynamo at my side.  I am so blessed!